When your sil repeatedly tells you to save all of your daughters clothing for the baby that they MIGHT be adopting/filling out paperwork for. She has been saying this since my 5 year old was born. What am I your personal storage facility...just in case you have a child? I did save my 1st daughter's clothes because
1. She grew out of them so fast, they were all new or only worn once and I couldn't part with them.
2. In case we had another girl...which we did and am I happy I kept all that stuff!
3. And of course, cause some of the clothes I just couldn't part with.....all the memories.
In no way, was I ever thinking of saving the clothes for her & her baby.
(Of course I will spoil the baby rotten if my sil will let me...cause it isn't the baby's fault we have drama!)
Reasons being
1. Every first time mother wants all new clothes or slightly used clothes for their new baby, not clothes that have gone through 2 babies.
2. She has been such a cold bitch(yeah, I went there....omg I am taking quotes from Hannah Montana...somebody slap me) to me, my husband and our children under the guise of being"just so busy".
3. She NEVER EVER buys my children anything unless it is their birthday or Christmas. So, why am I going to save everything we have ever had to give to her? Can you imagine. I always dreamed that when I was an aunt I would take them on surprise outings, leave fun trinkets for them to find from me....just fun stuff, but she doesn't.
4. When we were pregnant with my inlaws 1st grandchild, she tells my mil that the stroller is an expensive enough gift for us. Of course, my mil listened...but still. It's okay to tell her mother she needs an ice cream attachment to her kitchen-aid that runs over $100, but for heaven's sake don't spend $150 or more on a stroller for your FIRST GRANDCHILD! Don't even get me started on that she put her name on the card and never...never paid for a portion of it.
5. Oh, the list could go on and on.
What do you think? Am I being petty? There is so much of a back story that it is hard to convey how much I dislike her. She is selfish, conceited, and ignorant and drives me crazy and that is all going to get worse once(if) she adopts.....ugh.
Thanks for letting me vent.............me being her matron of honor w/my husband as the best man with a month notice is another story for another day.
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4 comments:
totally justified my friend. i think that if you are nice enough to save clothes for her then it is your gesture to be nice. not hers to demand! you are way too nice to have such a crappy family.
she sounds like my SIL who is 27 no drivers license, no car, barely a job, goes through about 10 boyfriends who she is "so deeply in love with. when she broke up with one of them, she asked if we could keep her dog for a month until she got a place. we agreed even though i was very pregnant and skeptical. dog arrives, scared shitless. apparently the dog was a total baby and she had never been around anyone else. my SIL used to carry her-did i mention it was a big dog? about 100 lbs. the dog destroyed my yard, tore up my garage, and drove us nuts. and.... SHE NEVER SENT ANY MONEY FOR FOOD OR ANYTHING! not one penny. and the dog was here for 6 months. 6 MONTHS!!!!
oh and btw: she never said thank you. maybe i need to blog about this! it appears i still have anger over it!
so sorry we have lame families!
If I wanted to save the clothes anyway, I'd save them and clench my teeth. But if I wanted to get rid of them, what I'd do is contact her and in a cheerful tone say that I was ready to get rid of our baby stuff, and that I remembered she'd said something about maybe wanting to have it, and that I was bringing it to Goodwill (or whatevs) the next weekend, but that if she wanted it she could come pick it up before then.
And if I wasn't going to let her have it, I'd pretend to have promised the stuff to a friend. If she said to save it, I'd say, "Oh, sorry! I promised it to my friend Jen." (EVERYONE has a friend Jen.) I might add something like what you said about how you didn't think she'd want stuff that has been through two kids and is basically worn out ( <--embellishment). And I would DEFINITELY not give her the memories stuff: she'd never know you had it, but if she DID somehow find out, I'd say something like, "Well, those I'm saving for their keepsake boxes."
c14k-thanks! I am sorry you have a sil that seems to be clueless too...why can't women be there for each other rather than finding all kinds of ways to hurt each other? ugh.
swistle-you are so right! I SHOULD be the better person and offer it to her. That way if she doesn't pick it up, I wasn't the bad person not saving anything for her. I know I should be the "better person", but sometimes I wish I wasn't. Thanks for reminder...
Wow, she sounds like one of those people who are at the very, very center of the universe--or at least in their own heads. I agree that you're totally justified in being upset. And Swistle is very wise.
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